relationships & dating /

5 Things I’m Looking For in a Mate (After Getting to Know Myself First)

My boyfriend of 3 years paid me a wonderful compliment the other day. He told me that he has always appreciated my level of self-awareness. He said the fact that I know what I can offer another person and what exactly I want from a partner has pushed him to do some introspection himself and prioritize the traits that he deems important.

Love Is Silly, Frivolous, and Grand

Before Thanksgiving, my husband asked me to provide ideas for upcoming gift-giving occasions: my birthday, our anniversary, Christmas, and Valentine’s Day. I answered as I have for several years: “I don’t need anything. We’re trying to downsize anyway. Let’s put our money into our home or travel.” He usually agreed, but in 2011, he felt the need to give and pressed me for a list.

My “Unforgivable” Online Dating Mistake

Valentine’s Day last week felt like the Superbowl day the week before — I just wanted them both over.  Nobody likes a Packer party like the Cheeseheads– so to have the dream dashed at the NY Giants vs. Green Bay playoffs, the Superbowl felt a lot like having the groom not show up for the wedding.  This year’s Superbowl came and went and I (along with every other Wisconsin sports fan) had already moved on to think Spring and the Brewers 2012 home opener.

Then Valentine’s Day rolled around.

Dating in Los Angeles: Is My City Keeping Me Single or My Bad Taste in Men?

It has been two and a half years since I moved to Los Angeles and two years since my last boyfriend, whom I met in Napa and not Los Angeles, mind you.

It has also been two years that coworkers, neighbors and friends began to tell me that Los Angeles was the worst place to date and if I wanted a boyfriend, I would have to recruit them from somewhere other than LA. The conversation tends to go like this:

Them: “You can’t date in LA because there are always younger and hotter options for men here. They are all spoiled brats!”

My New Year’s Resolutions for 2012: Be a Better Human Being

Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert staged a Restore Sanity rally in Washington, D. C., 2010. Since then, pundits, bloggers, and editorial writers have appealed to the nation, asking one and all to restore civility, to start conversations on serious subjects instead of hurling epithets, insults, and ad hominem left, right and center. I join them and offer the following list of resolutions for the new year, 2012, as a way to nurture and grow civility.

I hereby resolve:

  • Never to accept a second invitation for dinner or lunch at the behest of a person who demeans and/or ignores the wait staff, especially if the diner is also a miserly tipper.

It’s the Little Things: Recognizing the Unique Love You Have

A colleague once shared some insights into her marriage, telling me that every week of the thirty plus years she had been dating and married to her beloved, he brought fresh flowers to her as a testament to his love for her. That’s the sort of comment that makes the rest of us tilt our heads to one side as we tally the number of testaments we’ve received. Our men usually come up short–at least in flowers and weekly gifts.

I Know You Are But What Am I? A Look Into Dating and Religion

If you haven’t noticed it’s Christmas time. And while I LOVE Christmas for giving me the opportunity to celebrate the people I love by shopping for them, I understand that the holiday is divisive. Some people cannot stand Christmas– too materialistic, too stressful. Others do not celebrate Christmas because they are not Christian. Many just celebrate because of tradition and duty.

Casual Sex vs. Long-Term Commitment: Single Ladies, You Can’t Have Both

The background:  on my Facebook feed appeared an innocent link to a hipster article offering direct advice to single women who wanted to get married, and explained why they were still single.  The Facebook poster wanted people to let her know their thoughts on the article.

The gist:  two of the reasons included in the article for not being married were 1) the slut: habitually engaging in casual sex outside of a relationship, and 2) the liar: not being honest with yourself or the men you date about your true intentions.

The Princess Disease: How To Know If You Or A Loved One is Afflicted

A common disease amongst Generation Y, the Princess Disease develops in the early childhood stages of females with notable symptoms appearing in the teenage years. However, the Princess Disease does not begin to negatively affect the patient until the mid twenties. Symptoms of the Princess Disease or “PD” include but are not limited to the  extreme need for attention, a love of stages/ elevated surfaces and the infliction of incredibly high standards on men.

Symptoms:

Sufferers of Princess Disease frequently feel a sense of entitlement and expect constant rewards for what they deem “good” behavior, which others would classify as normal actions not worthy of rewarding.

Single During the Holiday Season: Surviving the Family

Holiday season is like the single girl’s version of “Man vs. Wild,” Bear Grylls braving the wilderness with his unique survival techniques. Our version of treacherous terrain? Family time.In the past, I have navigated a typical Thanksgiving with the following unsuccessful course:

I take a seat next to my grandma in the living room out of obligation because she looks incredibly bored. She has been concerned with my bachelor-esque lifestyle ever since I hit 18, so she seizes the opportunity to offer strange but sound relationship advice. My grandma reminds me of the ultimate test of lasting love– “Remember to ask yourself if you think you could live with him in a small cabin forever.” Clearly, I come from a long lineage of non-campers as a ‘small cabin’ is the closest place we can think of that resembles hell.

AUTHOR LIST

Jessica Chan
Jessica Chan
enableher. Editor
Jenny Ly
Jenny Ly
Tech Editor, Various
Heather Martinez
Heather Martinez
Modern Housewife
Connye Griffin
Connye Griffin
Teacher, Writer, and Editor
Tara Doran
Tara Doran
Dating Cheerleader
Tamara Leigh
Tamara Leigh
World Traveler
Octavia Gilmore
Octavia Gilmore
Advice Enthusiast
Marlayna
Marlayna
Storyteller. Writer. Photographer
Poonam Chopra
Poonam Chopra
Globetrotter and Journalist