marriage & partnerships /

5 Things I’m Looking For in a Mate (After Getting to Know Myself First)

My boyfriend of 3 years paid me a wonderful compliment the other day. He told me that he has always appreciated my level of self-awareness. He said the fact that I know what I can offer another person and what exactly I want from a partner has pushed him to do some introspection himself and prioritize the traits that he deems important.

Love Is Silly, Frivolous, and Grand

Before Thanksgiving, my husband asked me to provide ideas for upcoming gift-giving occasions: my birthday, our anniversary, Christmas, and Valentine’s Day. I answered as I have for several years: “I don’t need anything. We’re trying to downsize anyway. Let’s put our money into our home or travel.” He usually agreed, but in 2011, he felt the need to give and pressed me for a list.

If You’re Apart From Your Children, Give Them Palm Kisses for Everyday, Especially Valentine’s Day

I once believed that I invented Palm Kisses one early morning in the late 1980s when my daughter was in need. I now doubt that the idea is original with me, especially after reading and buying a copy of The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn and illustrated by Ruth E. Harper and Nancy M. Leak (Washington, D.C.: Child Welfare League of America, 1993). No matter who first imagined them, Palm Kisses are a wonderful gift to give your child when she or he must spend hours away from you.

How My Professional Engineering License Saved My Career (After a Few Years as a Stay-at-home Mom)

Professional Engineer. It has a ring to it, doesn’t it? That “PE” after my name would look great. And sure, it would look good on my resume and it would surely impress people, but why go after a license that in all likelihood I’d probably never use?

About five years after graduating with my bachelor’s degree in mechanical engineering, I decided to try for my professional engineering license. The chemical company I worked for didn’t require it, most commercial companies don’t, but it was something that seemed to be the right thing to do. A couple of co-workers and I headed to a local community college for a six-week review course held a couple of nights a week in the spring. The professional engineering test is given twice a year. I made plans to test in the fall.

Dating in Los Angeles: Is My City Keeping Me Single or My Bad Taste in Men?

It has been two and a half years since I moved to Los Angeles and two years since my last boyfriend, whom I met in Napa and not Los Angeles, mind you.

It has also been two years that coworkers, neighbors and friends began to tell me that Los Angeles was the worst place to date and if I wanted a boyfriend, I would have to recruit them from somewhere other than LA. The conversation tends to go like this:

Them: “You can’t date in LA because there are always younger and hotter options for men here. They are all spoiled brats!”

A Hand-Written Letter Will Always Outlast Your Smartphone

In a twist of irony, I got my first smartphone this week – and it’s ironic for many reasons. I mean, I write code to run on smartphones and didn’t even own one until now. And, my husband works for a manufacturer of smartphones. But, most of all, because I just spent 3 days sorting, arranging and otherwise archiving my pre-digital life of letters and photos – things that the smartphone and other technologies are pushing to obsolescence.

It’s the Little Things: Recognizing the Unique Love You Have

A colleague once shared some insights into her marriage, telling me that every week of the thirty plus years she had been dating and married to her beloved, he brought fresh flowers to her as a testament to his love for her. That’s the sort of comment that makes the rest of us tilt our heads to one side as we tally the number of testaments we’ve received. Our men usually come up short–at least in flowers and weekly gifts.

I Know You Are But What Am I? A Look Into Dating and Religion

If you haven’t noticed it’s Christmas time. And while I LOVE Christmas for giving me the opportunity to celebrate the people I love by shopping for them, I understand that the holiday is divisive. Some people cannot stand Christmas– too materialistic, too stressful. Others do not celebrate Christmas because they are not Christian. Many just celebrate because of tradition and duty.

Casual Sex vs. Long-Term Commitment: Single Ladies, You Can’t Have Both

The background:  on my Facebook feed appeared an innocent link to a hipster article offering direct advice to single women who wanted to get married, and explained why they were still single.  The Facebook poster wanted people to let her know their thoughts on the article.

The gist:  two of the reasons included in the article for not being married were 1) the slut: habitually engaging in casual sex outside of a relationship, and 2) the liar: not being honest with yourself or the men you date about your true intentions.

How to Raise a Family on a Single Income

Other than our first 3 months of marriage, I have not worked.  I did substitute teaching a couple months while pregnant, to earn extra cash, but not enough to count as 2 incomes.  While my husband’s salary has increased with promotions in his naval career, we have always been a single income household on a modest budget.  So how do we do it?  Well it’s taken some perfection and planning over time.

AUTHOR LIST

Jessica Chan
Jessica Chan
enableher. Editor
Guest Blogger
Guest Blogger
Special Appearances
Jenny Ly
Jenny Ly
Tech Editor, Various
Heather Martinez
Heather Martinez
Modern Housewife
Connye Griffin
Connye Griffin
Teacher, Writer, and Editor
Tara
Tara
Dating Cheerleader
Octavia Gilmore
Octavia Gilmore
Advice Enthusiast
Sarah Clatterbuck
Sarah Clatterbuck
Cycling-crazed Techie
Marlayna
Marlayna
Storyteller. Writer. Photographer
Conni Eckstein
Conni Eckstein
Senior Engineer
Globetrotter and Journalist
Globetrotter and Journalist
Globetrotter and Journalist